13: Keep Swimming – An Episode on Grief

The most beautiful people are those that have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have still found their way out of the depths.

These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.

Beautiful people do not just happen.    Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Grief comes in waves.  It can feel like you have been wrecked by wave after wave, all the while trying to cling onto some piece of the beautiful ship you used to and planned to have.  At first all you can do is try to stay afloat while sipping on air during the short stay on the surface. Eventually, maybe (just maybe) with the help of this podcast episode and what I want to share with you (because it was shared with me), you will learn that you can choose to function… and keep swimming

Life is not a guarantee nor is it a right.  We are here temporarily on this planet.  We are the lucky ones that get to experience the ride of life.  Parts of the ride can hurt, but those moments create character and strength.  Progress is made through holding up your shield, grabbing the shipwreck, confronting the painful events, looking at them squarely and facing the realities of loss, death, or disappointments. Be proud of the pain, feel the pain because you can, be proud of your scars.  Vulnerability is Strength.  Those scars, those strike marks are the battle wounds of life that make us who we are.  (That is why The Sisu Way logo has strike marks and scratches in it.)  We are the lucky ones who have the ability….the gift to hurt.

Here is the full post on Reddit by the user GSnow when asked for advice on how to deal with the grief and the loss of a loved one.  It helped me when I needed it, hopefully it helps you and/or someone you know:

[Serious] How do you cope with the passing of someone you are close to? from AskReddit

Get up strong,

Scott McGee

The Sisu Way

10: Traver Boehm – Strength Reborn

Traver Boehm is a man of the heart. He is a primal man, a sensitive man, and a Man Uncivilized. Traver is a man that was completely broken by life, and decided to skillfully use the pain as rocket fuel for growth.  It is that pain that rebuilt a life dedicated to service. That service is vital to our current state of thought in regards to what it means to be a man.

This episode aims to challenge your way of thinking, and open your mind to the action of surrender, ownership, and forgiveness. We talk about service, choosing strength, soulful crying, surrendering hate and regret, creating space to think, finding gratitude, “seeing” in darkness, finding yourself, the 21st Century Man, and helping guide others like a lighthouse in a storm.  It’s okay to feel.  Vulnerability is Strength. I am full of pride and gratitude for Traver and this episode. This may be one of the most important ones I do. Because of Traver, we are One Day Stronger. 

Get Up Strong,

Scott McGee

No Man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity. For he is not permitted to prove himself.” -Seneca

Below are show notes, quotes, links, & more info discussed in the episode:

Intro: Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

3:47  So who were you?  Unfigured Out. Something was deeply missing. I was half born. 

5:21  Beautiful Death – Knowing Thyself – Temet Nosce

8:51  What moments woke you up?  “Hang on”

11:10  Meditation – Go sit down and be with yourself

12:50  Utah – Month in the Wilderness. (Boulder Outdoor Survival School)  – Discussion and lesson about forgiveness.

22:00  Service “My life would not have been ripped to shreds to be be rebuilt in a way that would be self-servicing. I am dedicated to service.”

22:40  Driven by pain or driven by love? “Pain is the catalyst that got me here.”

Balance “If your pain could speak to yourself, what would it say?”

25:44  Strength is a Choice. Comparing Down.

How do you get someone to choose strength?  Humility. Find Gratitude.

28:28  Surrender, Ownership, Forgiveness

30:00  Carrying Hate. How to surrender it?

32:00  Learning to Breathe  “Create Space”  How to meditate. Box breathing.

39:45  The Year to Live Project – 28 day Dark Retreat, 28 day survival course in Utah, volunteered in a hospice

42:00  How long did it take to journey inward while in an environment with no light or sound?

49:15 How do you see in complete darkness? Hallucinations

51:21  “If you are strong within then you can deal with anything without.”

52:52  Why spend time in a hospice? “It is a blackbelt in space holding.”

54:24  Standing in front of someone you love that is dying.

56:45  How do you deal with regret?

57:00  The 21st Century Man

1:02:30  Write

1:03:55  It’s ok to feel. Vulnerability is Strength.

1:07:45 What do you struggle with?  How to find a home.

1:10:35 Communities – Built on a universal struggle

1:11:55  Combat – Taking a throwing a punch – Man Uncivilized

TraverBoehm.com -email, text….. Reach out for help!!

How to teach kids Grit…. Get Up Strong

1:26:45   How can people in support roles help their Men?

Books:

Today I Rise – Traver’s Book

Way of the Peaceful Warrior – Dan Millman

Social Media:

@traverboehm, @1scottmcgee, @thesisuway 

Links:

Ted Talk – How to make Pain Your Guru

TraverBoehm.com

traver@traverboehm.com

http://www.traverboehm.com/category/year-to-live-project/

TheSisuWay.com

Please be sure to rate the show and give an honest heartfelt review of the show on iTunes. What you say matters, and it helps guide others who may be looking for a show like this.  I humbly thank you.