31: Dr. Jen Esquer – It Starts Within – Building Strength through Infidelity

Pain x Resistance = Suffering

In life, things happen around us, and things happen to us. The only thing that truly matters is your choice of how you respond to it.  You can learn, adapt, and choose to make the best of each experience. Pain is inevitable  and inescapable, but suffering is optional. 

Emotional progress is made through confronting grief, pain, and calamity. Instead of avoiding the painful events of life, face them squarely and lean into them. By facing the realities of death, loss, and disappointment, you free yourself of illusions and false hopes and learn your truth.  

Every difficulty in life presents us with an opportunity to turn inward and to invoke our inner strength. An opportunity to practice your growth.  Like core stability, it starts from within.  Regardless of our trials, we all possess incredible strength. We have strength we don’t even realize we have. Its not other people that heal us…its you. Happiness does not depend on external sources.  You are your own souls doctor. This episode will help guide you.

My special guest is Dr. Jen Esquer. She is a Doctor of Physical Therapy, creator of The Mobility Method and The Optimal Body. Recently, Jen announced via her Instagram that she walked away from manipulation, infidelity, and an unfaithful relationship.  This emotional violation prompted her to have the courage to share her truth. To be a voice in this space for others who feel like they don’t have one.  To fight/heal for herself and others. To recognize that Vulnerability is Strength.  

This episode is not about what happened to her.  It’s about her inner strength and decision to inspire in the face of emotional adversity.

I’m proud to be part of her journey,

Scott

Thank you for your precious commodity… your attention. If you like the show, please rate and review us on iTunes and share on social media!

SHOW NOTES:

Intro: Potatoes, Eggs, and Coffee Beans

4:45 Jen’s Mission: To HEAL the world the best way she can, and that is through empowering you to learn how to heal yourself!

9:20  Core Stability – The first step towards regulating your emotions is stabilizing your emotions.

11:08  Awareness of the body helps detect where you have been neglecting.  

12:45  You cannot change the past, but by choosing to forgive you open up your possibilities for the future. -SM

14:30  What you resists, persists.        Pain x Resistance = Suffering

18:00  The only cure for grief is grieving. 

20:00  Revisiting infidelity – Owning the high road

30:41  I am just choosing to align myself with the values and the morals that I appreciate and I admire and the people that are going to uphold those same kind of values.

31:00  The Instagram announcement 

31:24-32:03*  I am so determined to be a voice in this space for people who don’t feel they have a voice and that is my want, my drive, my power behind this is truly coming from this place of wanting to help… and rise as one.

37:17  The hindsight of the relationship – Clues and Signs

49:00  The 7 wonders of the world – Gratitude 

53:30  What is it about you that you are not listening to.  Ownership.

55:00  The 5 Stages of Grief.  Dr. Kübler-Ross

58:08  Denial (and shock)

1:01:10  Anger (pain/guilt)

1:14:00  Bargaining 

1:17:19  Depression (reflection)

1:24:20  Acceptance (upward turn/hope)

1:38:20  A promise about ads – State and Liberty

Links:

DocJenFit.com  TheSisuWay.com 

@docjenfit   @themobilitymethod  @1scottmcgee   @thesisuway

26: Mary Beth LaRue – Creating Room for Embracing Vulnerability & Love

We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy. – Pema Chödrön

Mary Beth Larue’s professional passion is teaching yoga, meditation, mentoring and writing. She is the co-founder of the movement, Rock Your Bliss.  But it’s her soulful journey as a foster mom that has exposed her to wholehearted love and presence. For the past eleven months, she and her husband (7: Matt Aporta – Fostering Love) have fostered-to-adopt a beautiful little baby boy. They have opened themselves to the continually changing, dynamic nature of of vulnerability with a brutally exposed open and full heart. They have accepted that people might be temporary in your life, but that is not in your control.  What is in your control is the deliberate and passionate love shared in the moment, everyday.

Mary Beth is not who she is because she fosters. She fosters because of who she is.  Through the darkness, she has learned to focus on the light. She has learned to hold herself accountable for her thoughts, because they create her reality.  She has conversations full of possibilities, love and vulnerability. Her focus is on the now. Owning our story is hard, but not as difficult as running from it.  That strength, that vulnerability, privilege,and love, is what this episode is about.

SHOW NOTES:

Intro: Pema Chodron – When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Hard Times.

6:40  How to slow down. The moment is enough.

13:00  How to shine light on yourself in the darkness.

14:00  Relationship with Social Media – Perspective

27:00  What to do when starting to feel down.

29:03*  Holding myself accountable for thoughts that I’m thinking and whats coming out of my mouth because its creating my whole reality. I get to have conversations full of possibilities. Where as before I was having conversations with a giant stop sign.

29:47  A warrior is skilled in action and non-action. Vulnerability is Strength. The strength to allow yourself to feel.

35:00  The identity and transition in becoming a mom.

Fostering Baby A

47:00  Seeking the light in the face of loss.

48:53*  I’m different now because we’re willing to put ourselves in the fire. I want my heart to be all used up. I want ever inch of my heart and my spirit to have been used and grown and transformed because whats the point otherwise.

We get the privilege of making an impact in a child’s life, but mainly get the privilege of this child making a massive impact in our life.

58:20  How to become more self-aware so you can self-regulate.

1:07:50  Grief and Emotion is love. How to learn from kids.

1:14:20  Solitude is a super power. Micro Meditation.

1:18:00  The Yoga Room

1:22:30  Meditation and Breath work – It makes you kinder.

Mantras: Be fully present. Feel your heart. Engage in the next moment without any agenda.

1:35:03  What has yoga taught you? Being present. Finding peace in the chaos.

1:41:26  A letter from her husband. Gratitude, Intention, Love

LINKS:

MaryBethLarue.com     RockYourBlissMovement.com    TheSisuWay.com

SOCIAL MEDIA:

@marybethlarue  @rockyourbliss  @1scottmcgee  @TheSisuWay

25: Lindsey K. Mathews – A Peaceful Warrior Empowering Women through Love

Dr. Lindsey K. Mathews bio says she is a doctor of chiropractic, birth doula, NLP practitioner, strength and conditioning coach, and creator of the rockstar movement, BIRTHFIT! Beyond her extraordinary titles, Lindsey views every obstacle as an opportunity. She is a resilient woman in pursuit of truth, reflection, growth, and connection. Simply put, Lindsey is a peaceful warrior on a trailblazing mission to spread love.

Through the lens of friendship, exploration, and mutual respect, we discuss the trials we endure that introduces us to our strengths. We acknowledge that even at rock bottom, nobody is coming to save you.  You have the ability to see that the universe isn’t doing something to you. It’s doing something for you.  You have the ability to live a happy life through gratitude and service, you just may need a little guidance. When asked what she wanted to be remembered by, Lindsey said: To educate and empower women, so they have the tools to transition though any obstacle in life. It’s my goal that this episodes helps.

Strength is a Choice.

Humbly,

Scott

SHOW NOTES:

Opening: Rupi Kaur – Milk and Honey

Who are you and what are you capable of?

A peaceful warrior that’s on a mission to spread love.

6:46  What does the term “warrior” mean to you?

12:20  The trials we endure that strengthen our character.

16:40  Rock bottom and where Lindsey draws strength.

21:09  Nobody is going to save you. You have to save yourself.

22:46  The universe is not doing anything to me. It’s doing something for me.

23:27  The milestone moments:

Asthma and near death lesson, knee tear, medical mission to Africa.

35:03  Advice to the younger self going through abuse. You are worth it.

Most everything is either an act of love or a cry for love.

45:50  Bias, perspective, blindspots, and seeking to understand.

52:00  How a torn knee can shift a young women’s life. Identity cracks.

1:04:40  Medical Mission Trip. Lesson in touch and service.

1:11:35  Traffic is a test of character. Plan and use the obstacle as an opportunity.

1:13:50*  BIRTHFIT – What is it doing for you?

1:16:36*  All humans seek the happy life but confuse the means…How do you live a happy and fulfilling life?  Gratitude and Service

Challenge: As a negative thought pops up, immediately replace it with three thoughts of gratitude.

1:20:50  How can you be a good person?  Know yourself and do the right thing.

1:26:10  If you want to make this world a better place, continue to do work on yourself.  Make yourself better than you were yesterday. -LKM

1:29:50  Female role models. What would you say to the 12 year-old girls (and boys) out there?

How to identify an emotion without suppression.

1:39:36  What do you want to be remembered by? 

Educate and empower women so that they have the tools to transition through any obstacle in their life.

Closing:  Rupi Kaur – Bring Your Hammer and Fists

SOCIAL MEDIA:

@birthfit   @lindsey_k_mathews   @1scottmcgee   @thesisuway

LINKS:

birthfit.com  thesisuway.com

REFERENCES:

Mindset – Carol Dweck

The Obstacle is the Way – Ryan Holiday

20: Logan Gelbrich – Awareness & Vulnerability on a path to Hold the Standard

Before recording this episode with world-class human Logan Gelbrich, Dr. Cara Miller had some advice for me. She said, “Hold him steady with love – Push him deep with humility – and be willing to go there with him courageously.” 

This episode is a journey into the man, not just the entrepreneur/coach.  We learn how awareness is a good and bad thing, what the cost of seeking adversity is, and that strengths have shadows.  Most people think the ability to endure is a good thing, but what are the consequences of that?  Can you choose your way to happiness?

There is something about Logan that makes us want to get better.  He is someone I admire as a friend and revere as a leader. On the inside he is an intuitive and introspective soul with deep and complex thoughts.  On the outside he is a world renowned leader who is pushing us to “hold the responsibility of the space between your reality and the standard and that never ending pursuit of it.”

It is my humble honor to present this deeply personal interview with my friend, Logan,  with love and respect.

Strength is a Choice,

Scott McGee

Show Notes:

Antonio Machado said: Traveler, there is no path. The path is made by walking.

“It would be a ridiculous coincidence if your life was like someone else’s.”

5:00  Asserting Yourself – Baseball story and a lesson from Dad.

10:00  Are you Happy?

“Grateful and very hurt simultaneously for that awareness.”

“Step into awareness with great vulnerability.

14:55  Introverted and Introspection in regards to Happiness.

16:50  Does any of this really matter?

Galactic Calendar

20:13  The Sisu Hammer

23:40  The ability to put things down.  Meditation.

26:20  Death and Surrendering

32:00  Our greatest battles are waged within.

Strengths have Shadows

37:40  Lessons from College – Seeking Adversity & balance?  Learning how to relax.

42:09  What do you do for fun?  Solitude

52:30  Understanding depression and vulnerability

56:00  Beacon of Light

“Used my endurance as a crutch and that left me holding a lot of responsibility.”

1:05:13  Something about Logan that makes other people want to get better.

1:08:35  “My ability to endure has consequences, negative ones. Im aware, we all are aware, this is a project worth solving. Not just for my own own peace but for the on paper results that are required of me as a leader. And I like that accountability.”

1:09:08  Benefits and strength of therapy

1:13:20  Relationship with Brazilian Jiu Jitsu – Purpose and Utility

1:24:40  Personal relationships – “I seek relationships that allow me to help someone else grow or that help me to grow and that largely by definition is centered around the ability to give and receive the truth which includes negative feedback.”

*1:34:00-1:34:46*

The vulnerable ones who live with dissatisfaction.

1:37:20  What is Deuce Gym?  Hold the Standard

Performance | Community | Lifestyle

1:44:18-:35  Fitness is the mechanism for teaching a host of bigger lessons, namely holding the responsibility or accountability of the space between your reality and the standard and that never ending pursuit.

1:52:28  Its chemically impossible to be a victim and happy at the same time. To take on a victim mentality is to relinquish all control of your life. You have a say.

Strength is a Choice

Challenge: Use it towards the first question.

He who has done his best for his own time has lived for all times. – Friedrich Schiller, Playwright

Websites:

Deuce Gym    Coaches Prep   Developing World Class Coaches Free E-Book

The Sisu Way

Social Media:

Logan Gelbrich    Deuce Gym    Scott McGee   The Sisu Way

13: Keep Swimming – An Episode on Grief

The most beautiful people are those that have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have still found their way out of the depths.

These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.

Beautiful people do not just happen.    Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Grief comes in waves.  It can feel like you have been wrecked by wave after wave, all the while trying to cling onto some piece of the beautiful ship you used to and planned to have.  At first all you can do is try to stay afloat while sipping on air during the short stay on the surface. Eventually, maybe (just maybe) with the help of this podcast episode and what I want to share with you (because it was shared with me), you will learn that you can choose to function… and keep swimming

Life is not a guarantee nor is it a right.  We are here temporarily on this planet.  We are the lucky ones that get to experience the ride of life.  Parts of the ride can hurt, but those moments create character and strength.  Progress is made through holding up your shield, grabbing the shipwreck, confronting the painful events, looking at them squarely and facing the realities of loss, death, or disappointments. Be proud of the pain, feel the pain because you can, be proud of your scars.  Vulnerability is Strength.  Those scars, those strike marks are the battle wounds of life that make us who we are.  (That is why The Sisu Way logo has strike marks and scratches in it.)  We are the lucky ones who have the ability….the gift to hurt.

Here is the full post on Reddit by the user GSnow when asked for advice on how to deal with the grief and the loss of a loved one.  It helped me when I needed it, hopefully it helps you and/or someone you know:

[Serious] How do you cope with the passing of someone you are close to? from AskReddit

Get up strong,

Scott McGee

The Sisu Way

12: Olympian Lauren Gibbs – Happiness is a Choice

Lauren Gibbs is an American bobsledder who won a silver medal at the 2018 Olympic Games.  While that is a statement of fact, it does not define Lauren’s character. She is equal parts power, intelligence, intuition, respect, and drive. This makes her a champion of a human being. Our conversation is meant to show people that grit is learned. That you can choose to be happy. That anyone can achieve their dreams if they work hard and are honest about deficiencies, and believe in their ability to choose.

Show notes:

8:30  What it feels like to be an Olympian.

12:05  College Coach Diane Short: “It was not a surprise at all. She never folded under pressure.”

Lauren says this was not true because she relied on natural talent. What does this mean now looking back.

Are most lessons through suffering and pain?

18:30  Lesson in asserting yourself

20:00  Business suit to Team USA suit – Staying in something you are not happy with.

Finding purpose

24:14  How does someone find what makes them happy?

Happiness is a choice.” – Lauren Gibbs

“Take opportunities and see them through.”

28:40  I understand what I want to do. Public speaking, leading the youth.

You actually have to work!

33:00  Do that thing you want to do. Time is not a right its a privilege.

36:00 Your authentic self.  Learning to work hard.

42:00  Training for bobsled and how to make the team.

45:10  Setting up to go for a bobsled run.

59:04  Fighting for gold.

1:04:00 Making Team USA and telling your parents.

1:08:27  Is grit learnable?

1:11:30  How to develop contentment with yourself.

1:15:58  Best lesson: “Be able to have open and honest conversations about your deficiencies.”

1:17:45  “You’ll you never be successful if its something that you can do different or better, then that means you have the opportunity to be better.”

1:20:44  Selfie with the First Daughter, Ivanka Trump. You don’t have to agree to be civil. Americans taking a selfie.

Social Media:

@lagibbs84, @1scottmcgee,   @TheSisuWay  TheSisuWay.com

Health is Wealth – Vulnerability is a Strength – Strength is a Choice

You are the Master of your Fate – You are the Captain of your Soul

Get Up Strong – Be Unconquerable

 

7: Matt Aporta – Fostering Love: A Story of a Family

Episode 7: Fostering Love with Matt Aporta is more than a story of what its like to foster-to-adopt a child.  It is a lesson and reminder that everyday is a gift and nothing is more powerful than love. Relationships can come and go in an instant. Nothing in life is guaranteed.  Love with a sense of urgency and live on purpose.

Fostering a child is the highest form of service. In the dictionary, service is defined as: the action of helping or doing work for someone. What act is greater than giving a child-in-need a family?  The opportunity to be loved beyond words, a safe environment, and the chance to thrive? 

People might be temporary in your life, but that is not in your control.  What is in your control is the deliberate and passionate love shared in the moment, everyday.  Nothing is guaranteed, regardless of the word (bio, adoptive, foster, step) that comes before parent. What is guaranteed is the love and dedication in the heart of my guest, Matt Aporta and his wife Mary Beth Larue. 

They have opened their heart to foster-to-adopt a newborn child, giving this soul a chance to thrive in the most loving environment.  In these moments, Matt and Mary Beth became what they were meant to be.  This is the story of a good man, who grew into a great dad, and a women who has never known a love like this or had a “purpose as deep as the sea and as vast as the sky.”

I hope you open your hearts and enjoy this story,

Scott

Matt’s Instagram: @matt_aporta

Mary Beth’s Instagram: @marybethlarue

Scott McGee’s: @1scottmcgee  @TheSisuWay

Nonprofit foster family, adoption, and advocacy agency: Extraordinary Families 

5: Val Voboril – Strength is a Choice

 

 Val Voboril is the everyday woman with super-powered fitness.  She is a mother, 4th Grade teacher, and a 6-time CrossFit Games Athlete.  But these titles do not define her. The quality of her character is shown through her resilient spirit, her unconquerable soul, and her commitment to teaching kids that they have the power to choose strength.

Val’s successes has not come without a dip, a trial of “failure.” Despite her almost super-human powers, in 2015 at the CrossFit Games California Regional, Val doubted herself and felt the fear of disappointing others by failing to meet certain standards. This is a place we have all been. We have all been knocked down, but that’s not where we have to stay.  She thought about the kind of message she wanted to send to her daughter, her students, fans, and the community.

Her dad asked her:

What do you want the story to be to tell your daughter? That you pulled through, gave up, or persevered when it was hard?

When faced with adversity, we have a choice. Val found strength in having fun and connecting to the community. She used strength and love to conquer. Val remembered to smile. Through this simple act, Val showed the power of having fun. That Health is Wealth. In turn, through her unconquerable spirit she prevailed in competition and triumphed over her own adversity.

Val is not only a role model to the CrossFit community, she leads the way by teaching her students the importance of a positive attitude and how to get themselves out of a dip. This mindset and indomitable spirit is why we at The Sisu Way are proud to welcome Val as our first guest.

Vals website: Just Val

Instagrams to follow: @valvoboril  @1scottmcgee  @thesisuway

Books: The Art of Living

Daily Stoic

Temet Nosce – Know Thyself

Pain Now, Pride Forever.

Written in September 2016

Hard times build hard people.

The pain.  The pain you feel is a white ball of healing light. -Tyler Durden

The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. -Marcus Aurelius

Does what happens to you keep you from acting with justice, generosity, self control, sanity, prudence, honesty, humility, straightforwardness?

NOPE – Then get back to work.

The following is free form writing.  I found out today that after dedicating hundreds and hundreds of hours of work and sacrifice towards a goal, I did not make it. I failed.  When I found out, the first image that came to my head was a visual memory of the look on my son’s face when I had to leave him.  He was two years old and wanted to play with his dad.  I remember having to clear him from the threshold of the door so I could close it.  He had a lack of understanding in his eyes, but his understanding of the world made more sense then mine. We locked eyes as I closed the door.  Those hours, those moments I will never get back. He will never be that age again.  I let him down. 

The moment I oriented myself on the information I had received, I felt like someone had died. I felt like I was under water, my hearing changed, time slowed, I felt like someone had their hands on my heart. The feeling felt similar to when my dad died and when we found out about Connor. As I sit here, I temporarily feel like any laugh or smile is only surface related.  There is a deep level of grief. 

This grief, this pain, I want to meet face to face.  I want to allow it in.  I want it to hurt me.  I’m lucky because it hurts. I want to cry.  I will grieve.  I will respect these feelings.  I will get up and stand with them.  I am brave enough to face them. I will stand up in the storm.  I will face these arrows.  I will be proud and unbending in defeat.  I cherish these moments.  This pain is a blessing.  

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